Category: Dating and Relationships
This might seem like a weird topic to discuss, but I've been thinking about it for quite awhile now and just wanted to get some perspectives.
What factors do you think go into the fact that blind people seem to lose their virginity at a later age than sighted people? My thoughts on the topic are that blind people don't have as many dating experiences when they're younger, this can be for a variety of reasons such as being shunned by the sighted people they grow up with, going to a blind school where dating and sexuality is a taboo subject, etc. But I'm also wondering if perhaps blind people are seen as less desirable in general, even in relationships where both partners are blind. This attitude could stem from the fact of many parents being especially uncomfortable with their blind children having sex, as pregnancy could result and they feel their children are incapable of raising a family of their own. There is also the issue of passing on genetic conditions. My own parents have told me that I should never have kids. There is also a certain reluctance by a lot of people I've known to believe the seriousness of relationships established by the blind. It's almost like they believe we can't love in the same capacity as they do, but now I'm getting off topic.
My main point is, almost all the sighted people I know lost their virginity in their teens, while most of the blind people I know are in their late teens or early to mid 20's and have not only not lost their virginity, but seem to be inept at dating in general, or their relationships appear very platonic. I just wonder how common this phenomenon really is, and I do have more thoughts on the matter but I want to see what direction this topic goes in.
I think that your asking the wrong people.
From what I've seen, there is about the same cross section of blind teens losing their virginity around the same time as their sighted counterparts.
Yes, I'm sure there are some sheltered blind folks that go into their twenties or even longer.
I've also noticed that blind people in general are much more sexual beings.
There again, maybe I'm looking at the wrong demographic.
Thom
I dono how to name this, now. while I was studying my degree, and while I was in college library, me and my female friend did something abnormal and that shocked me after doing that.
was that to be named as my loss of virginity?
If yes, I've lost while I was eighteen or nineteen, then.
Raaj.
I don't know that I agree with the original poster's theory that blind people lose their virginity later than sighted people; personally, I always wanted to wait till I was truly in love to have sex. it wasn't even a religious thing; I just knew that was what I wanted, and stuck to it no matter what. in saying that, though, I do see how in regards to some people it may be cause of being sheltered...but I don't know that it's any different from how it is for sighted people really.
I don't really think it has much to do with being blind. I know blind people who lost their virginity at an early age, and sighted people who chose to wait. Although in saying that, I'm sure there are some sheltered blind people out there who haven't had the opportunity; but that can also be said for anyone in general. There are sighted people in the world who have been sheltered and haven't had as many opportunities as others.
Hmm. At first glance, I did agree with a lot of Turtle's points. And I think there still are some good ones there. But I've heard the whole spectrum, some saying that blind people are asexual, and some claiming that we're oversexual compared to the sighted populace. Both those theories are crap, if you ask me. How sexual someone is depends on a lot of factors, and though blindness may figure in for some people, that's not always the case.
It does seem, in both the blind and sighted populations, that guys tend to lose their virginity earlier than girls do. Don't know why that is, but it's something I've observed.
I do think Turtle has a couple points. Many blind people who were raised in the sighted world do start dating at a later age. I was one of those. I had many sighted male friends, but none of them ever looked at me as anything more. My parents did not avoid the topic of sex with me: my Mom talked to me about it in the same way that she did my sighted sisters. Although the issue with my family was that for a long time, they wanted me to be with a sighted guy. But I digress.
Some blind people are told they should not have kids. I've never been told not to, but I've made the choice not to. Still, a choice not to have kids doesnt' have to inhibit sex itself.
Just my thoughts.
To post 2, that's definitely interesting. I've never heard that blind people were more sexual than sighted people. In my own experience, that hasn't been true, so your point about demographics is a good one. But I also wonder if that too is caused by certain blind people not being taught sexual appropriateness, so they just figure it out for themselves, and maybe not in the most beneficial of ways.
Hmmm, I was pretty sexually active all throughout my teenage years. I must confess. Dorm life does have its advantages.
Is the original post based on some official study or statistics, or just on observation, I'd be curious to knos.
My experience is that blind people are quite a lot more sexual than sighted ones, at least with each other.
I mean, when there are summer camps for the blind they rally seem to end up with almost everyone finding a partner, at least for the week, and a lot of cuddling and more ensues.
I know a couple of couples who met at such an event and are still together, but of course also a lot of people who had fun for the week, or a follow up relationship that didn't work.
I will not deny I had my share, lol, though it didn't work out.
I think blind people, especially during teenage years, have difficulty finding sighted partners, because I think teenagers are all into looks and following the herd mentality, in general, so I think it's hard to date as a blind teenager. I think later in life people change and blindness or disability matter less, especially if the person has a good job or education and is outgoing and social, basically someone that can be seen as a good partner. I think the open mindedness is already more evident in university campus setting.
These are just my observations though, so I have nothing to bck it up or claim this goes for the population at large.
I think guys ahve an easier time finding an older girl or woman to have experiences with and guys are very aware of any type of relationship with a teenage girl that can be seen as immoral or illegal even, so I think that ight explain why guys lose their virginity sooner.
Also guys don't really care about virginity and are all too happy to try sexual stuff whereas I think it is a bigger deal for girls, after all there is a physical change involved, at least for many.
Yes, this is just based on observation. This is what i've seen in my own life, so it's interesting to see the other side of the spectrum here too.
This is not something that is easy to think about but this could be atributed to the following:
Low/no self-esteme
Few people interested in having sex with blind people
Blind people are not actively looking.
Take your pick...Looks like this topic could get interesting.
In my life I find the blind people I know to be more sexual people, and I'm one of them. Seems I relate that way better to women. I have noted that maybe blind women are less so due to as posted sighted males not having as much interest and a guy will try to convince anyone, where as women are more passive, but given the chance will come out. The ones I have met are sexual people and maybe that is due to not being able to relate to that "I had great eye contact with him/her across the room" you have to touch, so touching is more intimate then eye contact. Also we deal with more rejection in life as a whole, so we tend to be more open to things, and sex being one of them? Interesting subject.
i agree with post4.
when you wanted to give your verginity away is up to one's choice. that would have little to do with either you are someone with disability (blind in particular) or someone who's sighted.
it comes to what ones willing to give in their love, and what sort of believe one holds to. some people believes that it is a sacred thing to share with the one and only partner of life, they might wait untill the most definite one in their view before they take the step. this could happen to anyone.
some, who's advanture enough, and doesn't mind with the whole deal might easier to lose their virginity in the early years.
the way i look at it, it has more to do with the trusting view, instead of the whole blind vs sighted prospective. yes, sighted people might have more chance on giving their virginity away, but that deson't mean that, blind people does not have the chance.
as one of the post stated, most blind people who went for camp and stuff on their teenager years, could as easy as to entering a blind relationship, as a sighted teenager who goes to parties etc.
as to post12, i can't say i totally agree with that either. i guess, it is the common of interest that perhaps, within some blind people build. that would allow them to talk about sex, sharing sex experience, within one another. this could be because, that some blind group might only interested on sex, and talking about it most of the time or such, that doesn't mean sighted people don't. sighted people could have the same interest on it, but not as easy as blind people to talk about it. cause, from what my experience, in general, blind people, might not be aware or conchous on who around them, either other people could be on their hearing distant, before they share stuff around with each other.
From the experience of reading these posts I assume that this varies from person to person. I think that if some one did a studdy on these things the result would be that most blind people that are socially active experience sex very much like the general population. some lose it early some later. However it's at least in my opinion definitely a fact that it is harder for blind people to just go to a club and pick some one up by eye contact. generally people are afraid of things they don't know for instance entering into a relationship with some one who's blind never having known any one before. Not to mention the comments you will get if you hook up with some one blind the standard casual way. fortunately not nearly every one thinks like the average idiot so blind people still get their chances.
Wildebrew has a point regarding summer camps, conventions, and otherwise. Those types of events, when looked at by themselves, would make it appear that blind people are more sexual than sighted ones. But I don't think that's the case. I think the reason camps and conventions are dubbed mating seasons for the blind is that for one of the few times in our lives, blindness is just second nature. At a conference like that, we don't have to explain ourselves, how we do things, or get sympathy or pity from others because we are blind. It's just the way it is for the majority there. with that hurdle taken down, and people feeling more comfortable, it becomes easy for that whole mating thing to happen.
However, I still think that's an isolated thing. Society as a whole seems pretty sexual to me. Why do you think so many TV shows, movies, songs, and so forth have explicit scenes or lyrics? and even if they can't come right out and be explicit about it, in most cases, the sexual stuff is very heavily suggested. Often singers, actors, and actresses are judged on their sex appeal. So, the sighted world just seems to have its own way of showing it than we do.
chastity is due to the lack of opportunity.
I heard this proverb long time ago. I think it depends upon an individual's opportunity and how he or she's utilising it.
in my earlier age, that's while I was studying, I was eagerly awaiting for an opportunity to come. and at that time, I was not thinking of anything else other than an opportunity for sex. but as of now, I was told that I'm being more picky. in fact, I'm picky in few things. such as, voice, long hair, and etc etc.
so my personal opinion is, it's no way connected with blindness. rather it's connected with opportunity.
Raaj.
I lost my virginity at a late date because I had to have a sited person help me plot the route to the licker store where I could buy a $5 fifth of whisky before I did the nasty.
Had to get drunk in order to do it?
You know, the gunslinger's post interested me. Blind people do seem to have a more difficult time and it is odd and can be unsettling. It is something I have thought about alot lately...not that I'm in a rush but I am not getting any yunger. Perhaps if one mingles more one will see results but I still maintain that the blind have it tougher. I'm talking a bit in circles but I am truly puzzled as to how we, as blind people, should get over the hurtle.
I agree with Raaj here, it's all about opprotunity and how you decide to take that opprotunity. I think it also has to do with how socially acceptable you are. I don't mean with specific respect to your disability, but in general. If you are a creep, disability or not, your chances are about as good as getting a blizard in Mexico. I did not date a blind person until I was 24, and had relationships and what not with women before that. It started at age 14.
I guess my point with all this is that just like the sighted populis, we all bring our own individual experiences to the table. It's certainly more challenging in some respects for some people with disabilities to date outside of that community, which is why conventions are fuck festivals.
I agree with both Sister Dawn and Raajy's posts here. Society is sexual in general. I'm sure there will continue to be many varied opinions on this topic, but I know for me, I don't regret my first time, and it has nothing to do with me being blind, and everything to do with who I was, and still am with, and therefore, it was about the opportunity. I think it also might have something to do with the fact that some families try to keep their teens sheltered from it as much as possible. I'm not saying that happens all the time, or even most of the time, but I'm sure it does.
when I come to think of it I think this is largely ones own attitude. If you're blind and believe that you won't get oppertunity for sex you simply will not sea them. I think it's always difficult to go ahead for something ths "mysterious" when you're yong and being blind seems sometimes to have the effect of blind people using the "I can never do it because i'm blind" so at the end of theday it comes down to your confidence in your self. I think that sighted people also have quite a lot of difficulty in these matters. But they don't have this powerful excuse "I'm blind".
Really?
I somehow doubt it as it pertains to sex.
"I'm blind so I can't?"
Well, earthworms are blind, and they seem to. Just sayin'
I don't think blindness hinders sexual progress. I guess the issue, for me at least, is how to bring it up. I mean, you need to get close enough to want to do it and I can say that I notice a lack of interest. It seems, and perhaps I am ignorant, that only blind want to have sex with blind. Just my thoughts so don't all jump down my throat.
I'm sure it is that way for some people, but not all.
I think, if this is the case, it is lack of opportunity that would make the difference between blind and sighted. I think it is reasonable to assume that a similar amount of blind and sighted people hold certain beliefs or rules, such as no sex before marriage etc. If anything blind people might have fewer such people due to lower self esteem and be more willing to make out with a partner, which would mean increased sexual activity at a younger age, since teenage years tend to be the ones where you go through a period of self doubt.
So it's down to desireability and opportunity.
Some blind people have facial defects, weird eyes, weird bone structure as a result of radiation etc, basically something that especially teenagers would focus on and find a big problem. I think looks matter less as one gets older, especially the types of looks that are not self inflicted by lifestyle.
And that's my second point. Some blind people do not care, or do not have the opportunity, to keep their appearances as good as they can be. They prefer confy clothing to style or fashion, they need more effort to find a way to engage in e.g. sports or other body maintenance activities, so their looks might be on average worse than their sighted peers, and some people obsess about looks. I am not saying it's horrible or anything, to some people comfort may matter more, or they don't care about their clothes, and they totally have the right to feel that way, I'm just saying it may, and would, affect their chances in the "mating process".
Then there's the opportunity factor. Blind people can't participate in certain surroundings, like clubs, where it's all about dancing and eye contact, and the music is so loud that conversations are nearly impossible. In general they have to rely on other people coming to them first, which is where I think blind guys might be at a disadvantage, but I think blind guys are advantage in that girls may care less about looks or disability than guys (although I have nothing to back that up, and I might be wrong).
Also it is extra work for a sighted person to live with a blind individual, no matter how independent he or she is, and it may matter to some people. Everyone has their problems, alcoholism, depression etc, but blindness is very obvious and something that you kind of have to make up your mind about in the very beginning as a sighted person.
Of course once you are in a relationship, you can show that blind people make much better lovers. I have heard that especially sighted girls find blind guys attractive in that they feel less self conscious around them and more relaxed. I have heard the opposite too, but it's an interesting point and might work for some, say, less perfect looking people.
Oh, I forgot to add that is why I think the internet chat thing is really coo for blind people, and all disabled people really.
It's fun to chat with someone who does not perceive you as a blind person, and be curious about it and afraid to ask questions etc.
It's such a level playing field and much more comfortable to engage with people through the internet this way in the beginning.
If it comes to any type of attraction or friendship, or when you feel comfortable telling them about it, then you already know each other and things are less likely to get awkward.
Go internet.
You have some fantastic points man. I've been following this thread but haven't commented yet. A lot of people, especially in college, throughout their twenties, and maybe older, tend to hook up in environments we can't function in very well, like bars, clubs, house parties, etc. That used to agrivate the hell out of me when my friends would drag me to a club or bar or whatever where the music was so loud that you couldn't hear the person next to you even if they shouted in your ear. lol. I guess that is okay for sighted people as they can use eye contact and body language to get a specific person's attention, but for us, that's no good. Next... Unfortunetly, a certain percentage of the "blind population", for lack of a better term, just look wierd. Maybe that's a bit cruel for me to say that, but, that's how it is for a certain number at least. I think that is especially true with those blind from birth. Finally, I'd say that lack of social skills can be another limiting factor. This seems to be worse with blind guys than with blind girls from what I've seen. (No punn intended.) that's all from me for now.
When I answered about being more sexual I suppose I should have added I am not talking about the act, meaning when it happens, or how a person decides to venture in to sex. I am speaking of after a person has decided sex is what he or she wishes. I also agree with the settings and reasons Sister Dawn pointed out, it's just easier to move on then if you have to start from the I'm blind and this is how I... Yes sex is talked about, played in music, TV, adds and such, but I believe that is that make believe. In the sighted, or blind wourld what actually happens is total different. Yes this subject has brought out the individual point, and I agree, but as a whole because we relate via touch it's seems to me more sexual.
Because no statistics or studies have been done on this, I think a person should consider the blind-to-sighted ratio of people they know and in general before they start talking about who's more sexually active. Also, it might depend on where and how a person grows up, their religion, personality, and so on. I myself am a virgin by choice. And trust me, there have been opportunities. There have been guys in my Spanish and history class that I've actually liked, who flat out told me that they'd like to have sex with me. Be assured, I was shocked by the straightforwardness, but refused for I have scruples and self-respect.
I do believe it's easier for some blind people to hook up with other blind folks due to the absence of the barriers of shock, questions, and explanations.
I totally agree with Wildebrew on the internet dating idea.
look at the population here, we have about 60 billion people on earth, and perhaps less than 1 bbillion of them are blind, or, well, lets be wild, say, 10billion, it is still, a small community compare to sighted people. in such population, everything we do seems less than the normal, lost our virginity later, earn lesser money, have lease job, etc etc.
will be interested to know what age a blind person lost their virginity to a sighted person, and what age they lost within blind community itself.
i do believe in opportunity, also, the lack of explotial towards the wider community. how many of us here not really wanting to contact with the real sighted world, beside making perception towards them? it come back to the same point, opportunity and atitude. yes, they might have old virgins around in the sighted world, but surely they would have some, out of the 55 billions or so. don't forget, in some part if not most part of the world, sex without marriage is an disgraceful act.
Well if we are looking at the whole of population and the world, then it be difficult to know, and this is why I say the blind people I know seem to be more sexual people then all the sighted people I know. I know many more sighted people then I do blind, due to the schools, and such I attended, so I'd have to admit my group of blind people is small. Sex and sexual relationsions is a touchy, bound, and as season says disgraceful in some cultures, but I still think that the sexuality comes via having to tough, be closer, and from having so many other issues forst on them that a outlet for pleasure seems to be more excepted? I don't have the correct terms, but. Smile.
I wonder if there are any studdies on this subject. I wouldn't be surprised.
These are great points and I must ask:
How can a blind person "boost" thier chances given these parameters? Further more, why do blind people seem not to fit in as easily with the club sceen and all that?
Your last question would be mine as well.
Many people, blind, sighted or one-legged wart-frog, fit into and out of any number of situations. Especially, you're young so you no doubt go drifting into and out of a lot of things. All of that is just par for the course.
As I said before regarding the club scene. I just feel uncomfortable with my hearing taken away and with activities that are very sight centric in all aspects.
It's not necessarily a drawback, since, given my limited and my friends' a lot less limited, experience, club pick ups have a huge possibility of ending up as disasters, weird and scary people, unwanted pregnancies or, at the very least, high likelyhood of little compatibility.
I do love going to a bar or to a concert, where people are not expected to play eye contact flirting games, dance or try to hook up with someone, but are there to enjoy the on-tap beer specials and listening to damn good music, those types of places re awesome.
I think consensual sex between people who care about each other is one of the most amazing things you can do in life, so I can't see it as shameful. Of course religion comes into it and I respect people's choice to remain virgins, if it is important to them, all the more power to them really, although, as Terry Pratchett described for one of his characters "she lost her virginity at an early age, she was relieved of that because she had no idea what to do with it anyway", that's how I felt.
But people should do what they feel is right, and they certainly should not engage in sexual activity only to gain attention or out of lack of self respect, they have to engage in it because it feels right or they want to or they feel ready and willing to do it.
That applies for any person of any ethnicity or disability.
I think there are so many different factors that come into play here that it's impossible really to say for certain that blind people do or don't lose their virginity sooner/later than sighted people.
Every person is an individual, and every individual has trates that will affect whether or not they are sexually attractive to others. and the more sexually attractive you are, the more likely it is that you will find someone that wants to have sex with you sooner rather than later.
And attitude does of course play a huge part. If you tell yourself that nobody wants to have sex with you because you're blind, then you're going to project those feelings, and to the person not wanting to have sex with you, you're just going to look like a blind person with a chip on your shoulder, and therefore they're going to be less likely to want to have sex with you... and so the cycle continues.
I like that view poster before me. Smile. Your outward vibe makes a differents much. And that is in all areas of life not only sex.
Ah so the idea is to try to project a more out-going, possitive vibe. Also not to let opportunities slip away...this is all quite helpful indeed.
I do still maintain that many, not all, but many sighted people do not have those interests with the blind.
I don't think there's any simple formula that will improve a blind person's luck in meeting people, be it for sex or a relationship. I bet there are many sighted people who are just as unlucky, and they are not all ugly or shy or whatnot. Sometimes it's just all about luck and chemistry. If we're talking specifically about blind people finding sighted people to hook up with, I think it's going to be harder just because blindness or some other disability is not high up on the lists people make of desirable traits in a person. You can hope to find somebody who can look past such things, but so much about dating and sex seems to be so much about looks and material things and money, power and status or how being with a certain type of person affects how your friends perceive you and so forth. This is a good reason why some blind folks would rather hook up with other blind folks. There's so much less to explain and you can concentrate hopefully on the person you're with.
tbh margorp on some levels we all need to look at how we come across when we feel it might affect the way people perceive us. But equally it's important not to come across as desparate. Because desparation is not an attractive trate.
I think the reason some blind people become sexually active at a later age is that they are not as mobile as sighted people. They can't as teenagers walk to the houses of their friends when their friends' parents our out. The parents of some blind people tend to be more overprotective, so they wouldn't want their blind teenagers being alone with other teenagers.
Another factor is that some blind people struggle to make friends. Consequently it is more difficult for them to find partners to have relationships or sex with.
Some blind people are hostile to sighted people, and would only have a relationship with other blind people. The blind people they would have a relationship with may not be as interested in sex.
I guess I've never seen this, blind person only willing to have sex with another blind person, thing. My partners have been blind men, but that has simply been how it's fallen, not how I planned it. Indeed, there have been quite a few sighted men I've been attracted to over the years, and would have had sex with, had the opportunity presented itself. but those sighted men saw me as a friend, and nothing more, so there wasn't much I could do about that.
I agree with others. Sometimes, in loud environments like bars, or I'm sure clubs, the contact that is made is visual. I too, am very uncomfortable when I can't hear a damned thing. In that case, I feel more dependent on the people I'm with, and not the independent woman I amd and want to come across as.
OK, so here is how I see it. Some blind or visually impaired people do, in fact, live sheltered lives, as do some sighted people as well. However, for those who don't live as much of a sheltered life, or even for some who do, sight, to me, is just an excuse. We, like everyone else, are just as capable as sighted people, yes, we may have to work harder, but thats the price we pay. I also agree with Wildebrew.
hmm, it will be more interesting to do a survey here, finding out how old one lost his/her virginity. then we can talk if it is too late or too early. lol
This is a interesting topic. Everyone came up with good points, but here is something that has not been mentioned, and I myself, have experienced with the sighted. Some sighted people would actually be surprised to know that the blind even have sex. There has been a few times where I have been at my best girlfrinds place, who is blind, to hang out, drink, listen to music and have a laugh. Some one will know some one and there might be a few sighted there as well. So we'll all be sitting there talking and laughing then some one will speak up and say something like, "You guys are so ccool. You're just like everybody else." Oh wow, could the message finally be getting threw?
When I tell people at college that I live alone, I cook and clean for myself, pay bills and buy my food a lot of them seem sort of in awe. A lot of wows, and I never imagined. A teacher might give me a hand out and say, "Your mom can read this to you when you get home." I've had to tell them I live by myself. All they can really say is, oh.
I have also noticed that sighted women seem not to care as much if some one is blind. they'll approach you, engage you in conversation, more likely to ask questions and just appear to be more open. Sighted men are different though. guys my age are hard to talk to some times. They don't approach as much or seem nervous talking, but still call you baby girl in the halls if you happen to brush passed or something. Strange. I find it much easier to talk to older men. I mean, in their late 20's or 30's. Conversation just seems to flow better and it's less of an efert.
So here's my point. Maybe it's not always that they find us a hendorrance or unattractive it is just that the thought has never ever crossed their mind. I mean, if some sighted people get surprised because a blind person is drinking alcahol or lives alone, then I'm sure sex would be just as every much of a wonder to them. Let me do say I am not talking about all sighted people. I have met cool ass peoples who never made it an issue or had me feeling I was the one out. What I'm talking about is a few of my encounters and observations I've made from these experiences.
Ashley
I've come across this idea about blind people not having sex, and I wonder what's at the root of it. Is the idea that blind people are incapable of having sex, or is it that they think blind people are not interested in it, and what does one have to do with the other? Do they think sexual attraction can only happen visually?
ashley actually you make a valid point and it reminds me of a survey that was published a few years ago over here that led to a series of discussions/phone-ins etc.
The survey basically centred around tabu's - i.e. things that people thought shouldn't be discussed/thought about/even considered possible. And from that survey one of the main things that came out was that people don't think that it's appropriate that disabled people should have sex, and that although some had no opinion on whether or not they should, a lot of people didn't want to contemplate the fact that disabled people have sex.
There was a phone-in on one of the national radio stations, and some of the responses were actually truely shocking. So on that basis I do agree that if you're disabled (and I think this probably goes for any disability), there is more chance that you will find a partner who is also disabled than one that isn't.
WRT the poster who said that there are blind people who would only want to have sex with blind people, I don't think that's necessarily true, what I do think is that there are some disabled people who don't feel comfortable with non-disabled people, and who generally feel more comfortable socializing with people who are like them, ie disabled also. So in the case of someone who would only want sex with another blind person, the reality is that they probably have only, or mainly blind friends. I certainly know of blind people who generally only mix with other blind people, go to blind social groups etc, and even one who will only apply for jobs within the disabled sector.
Okay, so let's expand this topic:
What is at the heart of ignorance reguarding blind people and sex. It was pointed out that most people are shocked to find that the blind do such things? Why is this? Furthermore, how does one spread awareness?
I think it all comes down to what people assume, and don't question. There are lots of stereotypes about blind people and sex. I'm sure most people, blind or otherwise, don't go around publicly broadcasting their sex lives, so these stereotypes remain a mystery to a lot of people.
I agree with that, and would also venture to say that if most people, out of ignorance or whatever, think that blind people are incapable of performing simple tasks on their own, they sure as hell don't think we can have sex either. Maybe they think we literally do not know how our bodies work.
I knew one couple where the guy was sighted and his wife was blind. He encountered the situation, more than once, where people thought he was a real monster, taking advantage of a poor blind girl, especially since he was good looking, and could find a normal girl to be with.
That's horrible to here of such ignorance.
God I hate people who think like that. I don't have the patience so I just hit them in the face and tell them what idiotic, close-minded morons they are and walk away....but that's just me...Well I don't hit them lol but I give their kind a good tongue-lashing. Call it a virtual slap to the face.
All I have to say is that comments and people like that disgust me. I wouldn't even know how to react to something like that, besides to tell them that they are ignorant, and ask them what makes them think blind people aren't normal, and why they think he's taking advantage of the woman. It's repugnant that there are people who think like that!
Let's look at the other end of the scale and this is its own brand of wrongness. I've heard of couples where one is blind and the other sighted and the sighted person gets randomly praised for being such a wonderful saintly person for taking care of the blind person. See, there's wrongness in there, too, even though people are being complimentary because I guess the impression is that the relationship is based totally on caretaking and there is no love or romance in it. But I've gathered that many people think we blind people are not capable of any standard emotional relationship, at least with humans. People do love the idea of the guide dog as the blind person's best friend of all. Do people think we're so developmentally delayed that we are incapable of connecting with other people for any reason other than to be helped?
I seriously think that sometimes. I was getting at that a bit in the original post, but that wasn't the main point I was trying to make...My experiences have taught me that it's wrong for a blind person to be in a relationship. The ignorant people surrounding me have either thought they could control my actions by pointing out the person's flaws i was dating, or tolerating it because they figured I would get sick of the other person anyway because the relationships were somehow wrong. I've never seen such treatment shown to a sighted person, sure their friends or parents might not like their partner or whatever but they don't experience the shock and disbelief I get just for dating. It's sad, but now I'm an adult and I just don't care.
Wow, I can't say I was ever discouraged from being in a relationship, but I wonder if it was because I was a guy? I wonder if attitudes are different depending on gender?
I'm sorry to hear about your experiences, Turtle. I've never been discouraged from being in relationships, either. When I was younger, my family made it clear they wanted me with a sighted person, but I set them straight on that pretty fast. Now, whatever their opinions on that are, they keep them to themselves. I don't think they mind or look down on me being with a blind person, though they'd probably be happier if I was with a sighted one. I don't care what they think. I have never judged who I date on whether they have vision or not.
Ashley does make some good points. Sighted people are shocked by many of our abilities, and interests. Once, while on a trip with some friends in college, we went into a Harley shop so one of the guys could look at bikes. I was practically drooling, as I love motorcycles. If I were sighted, I would so have one. The group I was with just couldn't get their minds around that a blind person would be into such things.
As I mentioned in a previous post on here, there are two opposite, but seemingly frequent perspectives: that the blind are asexual, as Ashley was talking about. On the other side, I've also encountered the stereotype that blind people must be masters at sex, because our sense of touch is supposedly so refined, etc. I've even met a couple girls who have major fantasies about having sex with a blind man, because they think it would be the best sex ever. I just have to laugh at that. I don't think one's sexual abilities have anything whatsoever to do with their vision or lack of it.
I'd have to agree with that. Once abilities are in the head, not their blindness, but if they want to believe this well good for me. hahaha.
I wish people would get educated and change those stupid views of the blind. We are just like them for christe's sake.
But not enough people care enough to do this. That's the problem.
exactly...
I guess that is because people are just unwilling to change. What a shame.
This topic has been educational to me. Interesting views.
ok. keep going. keep going. interesting subject and make a propoganda as blindies like me innocents are good in sex than sighties.
why not we create a SexuoBlindyTapadyCommunity, now?
Raaj.
Interesting, though I must say that this topic is indeed educational.
Blindy tapity?
hmmm
re, post 19, "conventions are fuck festivals." LOL!
And I thought the high attendance numbers were due to people wanting to get their hands on the technology. Silly me.
oh they want to get their hands on someone's technology. lol
Yep. They want to get their USB Cables all over someone else's USB port. Lmao!
indeed!
but unfortunately, none of these USB ports are gettin suited with my Memory stick yet.
no problem. let me stick on with my fluffy wuffy pillows.
Raaj.
interesting. haha!
I haven't read every single post here, but reading through I had a theory so don't shoot me if this has been mentioned.
In doing research I found I mostly did research on females so we'll use that as a bases.
In the U.S. The average age to lose one's verginity in the whole populas is 17, and in NewZealand and Austrailia it's 16. These are from statistics I have found. Most women I have gotten to know in the blind community lost their verginity between the ages of 18 and 20.
I think that allot of the sexual expeiriances for our sighted counter parts may take place with in the bounds of High school, or maybe toward that end when they're looking to strech themselves out more. Instead it seems to me that blind people instead seem to wait until they're college or work years. This may be due to the high school mentality. (most of the blind girls I'm taking this from including myself attended public schools.)
The whole idea mentioned above that high school in general is more shallo, people are morelikely to want to date the popular or hot girl. Mind you most of us did have sighted boyfriends in school, but for one reason or another chose to abstane. For me it was religion, for another it was education, for another it was fear of getting pregnant etc. These are all things that can also be found in the sighted community. So I might say that blindness can be atributed to maybe waiting a bit longer for "some" people, I don't think it's from any short comings on our part.
Good points and I think they have been brought up. Let's face it, popularity was and always will be key.
Spongebob Clueless One here: Why is it so important to lose virginity in the teens and how does that make you a better or more attractive person? I didn't even date until I was in my early 20's and felt pressure to have a sexual experience even though I had always been taught it was best to wait until marriage. Well I gave into the pressure, and what a waste of time. It helped drag out a very unhealthy relationship, and I should have ended it when he treated me like the girl in the first "Prom Night" movie: "If I don't get a piece of a** from you then I'll get it elsewhere."
As a longtime healthcare worker I have seen the abnormal pap results of young women in their late teens and early 20's who had their first sexual experiences very early on. One 30 year old woman had a hysterectomy after cervical cancer, and was told the reason was she had too many partners too soon. I just fail to see the big deal about the sexual experience unless it's with someone you genuinely care about and in spite of the fact that I haven't practiced a religion in ages, I really think it best to save that at least for an engagement as this pleasurable activity can prolong relationships best abandonned. Just my .02...
But some people look at sex as exactly that, a pleasurable activity. Like doing drugs, eating, or reading, they do it whenever they get the opportunity, whenever they find a partner. Some people feel they must have sex in order to make themselves liked, popular, or attractive. There are a number of different reasons why teens do it. In the teen years, you're trying to figure out who the hell you are, so having a lot of sex or sex partners can be due to some insecurity issues, not saying there aren't many adults like this as well.
Also, I really believe the average age to start having sex is fourteen or fifteen. Seventeen sounds way too late for nowadays.
I think that's pretty sad. If some of these kids knew the kind of problems they're setting themselves up for, and it's probably best if possible for the parent of the same sex to teach them about this, they'd probably at least consider abstinence. Until layoffs, I was training an 18 year old who looked more like he was in his early 20's. This man was the noncustodial father of a two year old, and he lost his first full time job due to excessive absence, one involving the child (father was a probationary employee).
Today unfortunately there was an article in the BOSTON HERALD talking about how more members of both sexes think it's ok for an unmarried woman to have a baby, and more are taking chances on the rhythm method, which has a 25% failure rate, meaning teen pregnancy rates are no longer dropping. More people not ready for the responsibility of a child, sad, and unfair to the child.
Well education is a must. I believe telling a teen everything about sex, and not just don't serves better. You will give him or her a fighting chance to decide on information not fear. Fear makes a lot of people end up with issues, pressure, and not enjoying one of Gods gifts to mankind. You say about the lady that had servical issues, and that is sometimes a fact, but maybe if she knew about this and use comdoms, or picked her people more carefully, or whent for regular checkups she'd have bgeen better off? Can't say that, but you get the idea.
it raise up a good question, what is "ses" and what is "love making" and how we can define it.
you can consider i'm from old school, however, it seems to me, teenagers in the 21st century take "sex" as a pleasure, not something that should be a sacred thing between lover, left alone married couple. teenagers can publicly nudge each other openly, even in the bus, encouraging another half or themselves to take the step forward, have sex with them. when few teenagers get together, it seems like "sex" must be in the topic of their conversation. can we say, or fair to say that, this bunch of kids might lose their virginity too quickly without knowing exactly how and why untill, perhaps, is a little too late?
Spoungebob:
I think the only way for me to address your concerns is simply by saying that this is the world we live in. Now I can only speek for myself, but I am in no rush to have sex however my clock is ticking.
males in first collum so each number that comes first is males and second number for each age group is females...
25% by age 15
26% by age 15
37% by age 16
40% by age 16
46% by age 17
49% by age 17
62% by age 18
70% by age 18
69% by age 19
77% by age 19
85% by age 20-21
81% by age 20-21
89% by age 22-24
92% by age 22-24
table end
and the website is
http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/resources/FAQ.html
I agree with Margorp. The thing is, a blind teen is already struggling to fit in socially, if their friends have lost their virginity and they haven't even dated yet (as especially in public schools you get this whole aversion from the ignorant asses who don't know any better), that person starts to question their self-worth and desirability. I speak from experience on this one. Now that I'm almost 21, I don't care about things like that anymore, but I sure did back then. My point is, you want to fit in, and being different to begin with doesn't help make this situation easier. Yes, I totally agree that sex should be saved for a committed relationship, but to me that decision is ultimately up to the couple when they feel they're committed enough. If marriage or engagement is good for some, that's ok. My personal view is, you just know when the right time is, it's really an instinct. Some people are better judges of character than others, so while some people will get hurt by this method, others such as myself wouldn't necessarily.
tick tock. tick tock.
my clock is ticking but my virginity stays with me for ages.
if I remember correct, if we aint having physical intimacy/relativity for more than a month, we're regaining the virginity which we've lost already. I'm not sure. but this was told by a zoner, forgot his name. but in publick.
in such case, I've regained a bunch and bunch of virginity and dono how to lose that, now. lollolloll.
Raaj.
Hmmm, it surprises me that people who are blind lose their virginity later, because I went to a school for the blind briefly in my Junior year of highschool, and everyone their screwed like rabbits. LOL! And have any of you ever been to a NFB convention? It is a sex fest. I personally lost my virginity mid way through my seventeenth year.
On the topic of parents and others that say that people who are blind should not have children; I find that absolutely ludicris. I have only had a couple ignorent souls tell me that I should not have children, because I am blind. I laughed in their faces, and then very quickly set them streight.
At the age of 26 I once again turn your attention to the clock. The biological clock, that is. It becomes less about popularity and more about not wanting to be the lone wolfe, so to speak.
lol I so do not agree. I know people who lost there's at a younger age. just think it depends on who you ask.
I guess, but over all, blind people tend to have sex later on.
Forget the clock and watch the movie "The Forty Year Old Virgin" with Steve Carrell. At first all of this man's friends are belittling him, finally one stands up for him saying, "So what? He looks younger than he is because he isn't stuck with the grief and aggravation", the "grief and aggravation" being an unhealthy relationship made all the more difficult to leave because of the sex.
I guess we're going to have to agree to disagree on this topic. I'm curious as to when the word 'issue' replaced problem. The problem in this case was cervical cancer, and it was her midwife who made the assessment of too many partners at too early an age as the cause of it. Condoms don't cover all parts of the male, and males can carry human papilloma virus (HPV) on testicles or in the groin area. The human immune system really isn't fully equipped to contain more malevolent strains of HPV until the woman is around 20, and I have known my share of women who got that dreaded abnormal pap phone call early in life. I hope teenagers, blind or sighted, know of the potential problems that can await them when they have their first adult experience at an early age, hoping to 'fit in'.
Well, I am sixteen, and still a virgin. I think all the factors listed here bind into the fact that blind people lose their virginity at a later age. I'm afraid myself that I will pass on my blindness to my children. I wouldn't want them to go through what I've been through in my lifetime, being shunned, looked down upon, and so forth.
Spongebob you have what sounds like compelling evidence. Do you have any scientific data on this? It does rather sound like the AIDS scare we grew up with during the 1980s, only it affects only women.
No offense to your midwife of course: my wife had one and she was most competent, but we also had a naturopathic doctor (a real M.D. who practices naturopathic medicine).
This is not an argument but a point of clarification, because if there is medical science behind what you're saying it sounds compelling, on the level of the AIDS scare that scared our pants shut in the 1980s. And what of this cervix problem? Do women die? Sorry to be so woefully ignorant, I'm no caveman and am well aware of women's cycles and the like, I had simply never heard of this new disease. I'll have to look at it, maybe ask my brother who's a doctor when I see him next.
And I did see that movie. Yikes.
I know about the HPV, but you can get anything from one sexual act in that case and being young or old doesn't matter. The choice of partners, the education, and regular check ups male or female are best practices. Sex is as I say a God given blessing and should be practiced with education. I think all people at the age of about 10 should start receiveing this education and not "don't do it it's dangerous until you are maried." If that were true why are many "maried" women getting Aids in some countries? Being married doesn't make sex any safer them not being maried, and nor does age. If you will remember girls were "maried at around 13 or 14 in many cultures in the past and so, but this is getting side tracked. Smile. Once again education is the key to a healthy sex life no matter when you decide to start it. Even some prostitutes never get HPV or anything else for that matter and they have more sexual partners then an average person, so life is odd and that is that.
I wish I could get a good sex practice somewhere around. without losing my virginity.
Raaj.
You can't live your life in fear. Most people actually get h p v and you have one of 2 types:
The first can be naturally killed off by your emmune system. The second...well that is a different story.
Robozork, I've gotten my info from a variety of sources, mostly written sources and not a lot on line, although you can run a google or bing or even a www.webmd.com search net on this and probably pull up a variety of sources on human papillomavirus, or HPV. And men can be carriers, to,on the groin testicles and other areas that aren't covered by a condom. I once posted on the long defunct BRATS! page long before I had a child,and one woman spoke of an HPV support group she was a part of that had male members.
HPV doesn't always lead to cervical cancer,but it can. As to whether or not women die, that depends on how early it is caught. Some women simply have abnormal cells that need to be frozen, others contract genital warts that may require laser treatment. I believe it's a Stage 3 or 4 pap that requires biopsy, and if the biopsy shows malignancy, it depends on how far the malignancy has spread as to whether or not the woman survives. I had a college classmate who got the dreaded abnormal pap phone call at age 24. Now a number of articles I've seen from OBGYN's stated abnormal paps, before the 'Sexual Revolution' of the '60's, were more a fact of life for women over 50, but since sex was brought from the realm of marriage into more possible partners, abnormal paps have been an occurrence for much younger women. I have a recent acquaintance who was intimate at 15. This woman also took up cigarette smoking, which increases the risk for any # of cancers. At just 2 1/2 years my senior, she not only had bladder cancer but a total hysterectomy for uterine cancer as well. The way some practitioners explain it the human immune system just isn't fully prepared to contain more malevolent strains of this virus until young women are around 20. I think this holds true for a lot of illnesses. Aren't people of the 'age extremes' of childhood & over 50 highly advised towards flu shots? I remember gastrointestinal symptoms that would keep me out of school every year for about a week, then around my early 20's they stopped.
As for why married women in third world countries test positive for HIV, many of their husbands are not monogamous, and condom education has proved worthless in many of those societies, as men regard them as 'not masculine'. Women possess microscopic tears in the vagina...this was explained to me when I was HIV tested one year...that facilitate the virus' entry when they have intercourse with their non monogamous husbands. They are also quite likely to get infected with other STD's, since no one uses condoms, and infection by other STD's, like syphilis, alters the normal human reproductive tissue to facilitate HIV entry.
Everybody has their opinions about sex, I have mine. I don't want my daughter to be someone's 'first notch on the belt', and I don't want her wasting time she could be improving her education or getting some vocational/technical skills on a go nowhere, user sexual relationship, or for her to have a hard time getting out of a destructive arrangement because of the sex.
So your daughter maries a man and that will protect her? No. You see my point education is the protector and in the 3rd world countries education would change the issue and culture change as well. Sex, or no sex doesn't matter. One information is the key. Trust as another, but that is another subject. I strongly dislike holding up the fear factor to set ones own ideas and fears in to others. Give them all the facts not just you'll die of this if you do that. Don't cross the street either.
Robo, SpongeBob is right on this one. HPV is a real thing, and frequent sex, and sex with multiple partners, can cause it or make it worse. It is the virus that can cause cervical cancer, and yes, women can die from cervical cancer if it is not detected early enough. I got the dreaded abnormal pap call for the first time when I was 25 or so. Not fun. One of the first, and main, ways my OB/GYN told me that it would clear up was to either not have sex at all, or if I did, to have sex with the guy wearing a condom, though I did not need it for birth control purposes. The good news is, there is now a vaccine out against many strains of HPV. Unfortunately, I think the oldest a woman can be for this is 26.
Forereel is right, in one sense. Education, and proper healthcare, make the difference. But Forereel, there is merit to waiting till marriage, and only having one partner. You're opening yourself up, no pun intended, to far less risk. However, this generally does not happen, so education and healthcare are key.
To Radiant Allure, I'm not at all surprised to hear of people in Braille schools screwing like rabbits. I have heard of this many times. But, like an NFB or ACB convention, a braille school is a place where blindness does not matter. So,the two people can skip right past that one and just jump in, so to speak. But for those of us blind people who are mainstreamed, and around sighted people for our early lives, it seems we have sex later, because we often date later. Not many sighted teens are willing to date blind ones. That's not every case, I know. I'm not saying it is. But it was mine, and I know it is for many others, too.
My issue with the whole sex thing is how it is presented:
You run the same risks no matter what age you are and marrage does not make a difference. If we continue to teach the way we do, the species just might die out.
Alicia / Spongebob I had no quibble, but was simply asking, and both your posts were most informative. I had simply not heard of the HPV.
Thanks for taking the time to inform.
Yes I sincerely believe that education can and has wiped out many sexual issues. We are not born with HPV or anything else for that matter, and many of us have serious emotional problems due to the fear factor. Many have their first sexual encounter because it is the thing to do not the gift to give. Boys go to prostitutes because they can't find a clean, healthy, girl to be with, due to all the taboos. I sincerely believe people stray and such because they don't have what they need at home, so when they come home they bring disease.No not all, but it's an issue. A man is gay, but maries because it is what he is suppose to do, so he has male sexual encounters in secret, then comes home and brings disease. Women are deprived and so find others to be with. This is not always the case true, but I sincerely believe taking the taboos of sex will make it healthier. Sexis natrual and should be treated as such.Education will allow a person to decide when she or he wants to be a virgin or non virgin, and the encounter will be a gift of sharing not a most do, or a conquest.
Margorp, I don't think the species is in any danger of dying out. *Smile*
Robo, I know you weren't trying to quibble. I wasn't trying to be harsh in my reply, just to answer your questions.
Nah I didn't think you came off harsh. Neither one.
I do have to say, the concept of being afraid our species will die out is kinda laughable. We still have huge poor populations even in this country, and poor / less educated people reproduce in far greater numbers than do the educated classes.
Education and responsibility is always key, regardless of age and/or marrital status. Personally, I don't just screw anyone. I want it to be special, but if you want to have a pleasurable night, just try to learn as much as you can about your partner, and be careful.
Okay, I was beeing dramatic when I said we just might die out. Lol, but my point is that the education system has failed everyone in this department
Boy do I agree there are some spouses who drive their spouses to seek attention elsewhere! If someone is married & prioritizes time spent with "friends", or an addiction, or a career and is never available for their partner, believe me I used to be more condemning of extramarrital sex, now I understand perfectly. When only one partner is participating & the other is childishly fixated on social relations or a destructive habit, they have effectively written themselves out as a turn off & I really don't blame their partners for seeking attention elsewhere. Divorce can be costly, and some fear rightfully for the welfare of any children, so they stay, but I really don't blame them for finding a friend or co-worker more attractive than their spouse.
I understand not wanting to marry or remarry. Some folks don't want to raise any kids together, but know they are attracted to one another on a sexual level. Some divorced & widowed parents don't want to chance a toxic stepparent or stepsiblings with their children, opting instead for a "friends with benefits" kind of scenario. Also there are emotional attachments to worry about with kids should a relationship sour, so personally if I were in one of these categories, I would love that "friend with benefits" to spend time with me only when Mimi was w her dad or a sitter. I do believe, though, that people wanting to raise one or more children together should at least start out married. And if marriage isn't a possibility, there is ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE for not using condoms, gay or straight, but keep in mind they're not foolproof.
I do believe also, like some have stated, that sex should be a valued gift to give to another person, not just something to do to do it or get it out of the way by a certain age. With chimpanzees, according to a NATURE special on PBS some years ago, the only sexual taboo is that is is forbidden between females & their male children over a certain age, otherwise anything goes. Human beings need more taboos to be on a higher level than chimpanzees.
I know of several gay guys who married, saying that they loved the woman enough that they could put their urges for man on man fun aside, but why would anyone want to set themselves up for such a horrid struggle? I really do think that they believe what they're saying at the time, but I'd say most of them end up slipping out for a bit of fun once in a while. Not only is it self deprivation, but eventually, it's grounds for lots and lots of resentments, and it really isn't fair to the woman either. Mostly, the gay guys have done this because it's what good church going men do.
well i think the species has no worries of dying out. I wouldn't worry about that. Fear is also part of some education, and I think that's ok. I'd rather my child be educated and a bit afraid there fore more caucious. I think that the notch on the belt thing isn't just saying counting in numbers, but it is something to do with human nature.
Men liked to conker . They did hundreds of years ago and they do now. It's just their are changes in technique. Women flert and primp. I can't say every single one does, but it is in general built in, and if there are some main vallues or morals I can teach my child by goodness I'll do it. Sex can be wonderful, but if you have it too early because it's the expected thing, or because it makes you cool it's no better than being out of high school and sleeping with some stranger for the hell of it. Some people find that acceptible I personally don't.
If we take fear out of the equation and openly educate we just might have less struggles.
I see what Damia is saying, though. Yes, educate for sure, but also teach caution in with that. Safe sex, etc, and not just to throw the most precious thing you have away.
Well that education helps and teaches C. You learn that if you just want a stranger to get her name first and learn something about her. Seriously lift the taboos, the fear, and the wrong, and sex will be cleaner, safer, and healthier for everyone I believe.
Of course teach caussion but there is a difference between that and pumping people full of fear. Sit people down and give them the facts.
OK, I feel like reviving this topic. It's interesting to me that I ain't the only one who notices this. I'll give you my situation with men and sex, and then I'l give you an example of my blind friend's situation:
Let me get something straight: I ain't totally blind. I can see enough to walk without a cane in the light. I can ride a horse in the open. I can't drive and I can't read print. OK, that being said, I'm comfortable around men. I love sex. Maybe the reason my sexual status is so much better than some other blind people is because I make sighted people feel at ease around me. People who've never been around a blind person tend to relax a little when I start joking around about how I ran into a wall the other day, or how I tripped over a chair in the middle of a room. When people don't feel tense, they start opening up to you just like they would a sighted person. This works especially well if you're trying to hook a man. I reel 'em in and make 'em pay. That's why sex is so awesome for me. I love the feeling of being seen as a normal person, and not a disability. You can't be seen that way, by men or anyone, unless you loosen 'em up.
Now I'll tell ya about my friend. She's totally blind. I honest to God don't think it has anything to do with the fact that I can see a little and she can't. It's the fact that she doesn't know how to talk to men. She starts forcing her oppinions about "No premarrital sex" and "If we get married, ..." It makes men feel uneasy. Now she's planning suddenly to just become an adoptive single mother. That's fine and all, but I think I know why she's changed up all of a sudden. Because once she starts talking to a good guy, he runs off. Then I gotta go chase 'em down. MMM :)
So to sum up all of what I just said, it's not about whether or not you can see. It's all about the way you present yourself to people. Of course sighted people feel a little uncomfortable at the sight of us. Duh! Who the hell didn't know that? It's the fact that either they were raised not to stare when a blind guy is walking by, which sens the message of "Something's wrong with that man and you shouldn't look at him," or they just aren't used to being around blind people. Relax their muscles. Laugh with 'em. Smile at 'em. Flirt with those boys better than any sighted chick ever done it. That's how blind people make a come-back. We can break the stereotype of a 40 year old blind virgin.
Jessie
Aw, Jessie, I like your advice. I definitely have what it takes to get a guy, but I don't force it because I'm not looking at the moment.
Okay Taling about HPV makes me queezy, I wont get into why but there are 3 strands out there that cause cervical cancer, and again I would explain why but its a topic close to home with me. Just keep in mind if your a male there is no testing if you come up with it one day.
:) Jessie good point, I did this in highschool when I would go to debate tournaments! Hekc I got more ladies wanting to walk with me then my sighted counter part.
Heck ya I love sex! well.. :) I am married. So that is a given for the most part. :)
I know u love sex i guess i would know because im married to ilve sexto i have to be mariedto a freak
I guess as others have said that it's about not letting moments pass you by.